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How to stop living from a place of urgency.

What moves you to take action? What triggers you to follow a dream? What helps you achieve your goals?

Getting inspired to take action towards a big goal or dream can show up in many different ways.

For me, it was at a conference I was attending. The presentation had just finished, and everyone was rising out of their seats ready to head out the door to satisfy their growling stomachs. This was one of those annual strategy deployment conferences where leaders come together to talk about the upcoming year, goals, new initiatives, and planning. I was there as I was coaching most of the leaders in the room.

Then in an instant everything changed.

My mouth dropped open and my heart sank when I heard the company head say: “We need people who are hungry and who hustle, and we need to get rid of the fu*king rest.”  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and to boot that he was saying this out loud to the eight other leaders surrounding him as they funneled out of the conference room.

I knew this was a highly competitive environment. The pressure to perform, meet expectations, and claim rank, was fierce.

All to well, I knew what it was like to live by this sword. The reward not worthy of its consequences.

This was the catalyst I needed to follow-through and to put out an alternative. Another way, a better way. This was the impetus for my book Sell From Love.

Sell from love offers you a better way to sell, work, and live.

Everyone is selling something. Whether it’s getting your kid to eat their greens, your spouse to say yes to a dream vacation, your boss to give you a raise, or a client to buy your services. You are in some way seeking to sell, persuade, or influence someone to do something.

Often, we get stuck in fear. Fear if they don’t agree, don’t say yes, reject our request or worse us. This fear creates a tornado effect in our lives and leadership. Often having us go unconscious without even realizing fear has taken over and is affecting how we show up. It’s not till life is not working that we hear the wake-up call and seek an alternative.

What I appreciate about the Sell from Love approach is that it will teach you how to love yourself. So many of us are stricken with the curse of punishing ourselves with unsupportive and negative chatter in our heads. We’re our own worst critics – right? Imagine what your life, work, and leadership would be like if you spoke to yourself as you would to your best friend? How would this helpful voice move you forward and learn to relinquish the shackles that your inner critic holds you back from living your best life?

Often, when we’re trying to sell or influence someone to do something, we get stuck on focusing on what we’ll get out of it or what we might lose if they don’t say yes. This could be tangible things like a car, vacation, or money. More often it’s subtle like status, confidence, or success. We get mired in what we’ll get out of it that we lose our way and forget what they, the person, you are looking to influence will receive. For instance:

  • Your kid will get a healthy body over you exercising your parental responsibilities.
  • Your spouse will get reprieve from their stressful job over you getting some fun in the sun.
  • Your boss will get an uber engaged and productive employee over the extra money you’ll earn to get a new car.
  • Your client will get a new strategy to help them improve client loyalty over you hitting your revenue goals.

When you sell from love you will not lose your way, by trying to get your way.

Selling from love, isn’t about you not getting what you want, rather letting go of the fear and worry that if you put your attention on others that you will lose or miss out in some way.

When you focus on what others receive, everyone including you wins. It’s a much better way to play.

One thing I know for sure is this: Fear reacts. Love Responds.

When your thoughts, feelings and actions are motivated from fear, life is pressure filled, urgent and concerned with what you will get or miss out on.

When your thoughts, feelings, and actions are motivated from love, life is fulfilling, you are whole and enough, and there is always plenty to go around, so you’ll never be shorted or not have enough.

Fear will have you believe you need to know, be in control, and to make something happen, even with force.

Living and leading from a place of love, you trust that even in the unknown and uncertain, you have confidence and peace of mind that everything will work out perfectly, if you only allow it to happen.

Now over to you. 

  • What happens to you when you think and take action from fear?
  • What happens to you when you think and take action from love?

I’d love to hear from you!  Please do send me your insights, comments about this post and any question that is top of mind for you. Email me at:

With love,


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